Life Lessons from the Mat
The yoga instructor’s accent was unique, “collapse you’a uppa bohdy overr you’a knees, slooowwwly last thing to come up, you’a head.” Olga teaches a few times a week at my gym and is very knowledgeable. Her muscular shoulders and back are a testament of the time she spends on the mat. While I appreciate her expertise, her severe Russian accent and stern attitude for “do exactly as I say and no variation” are not always easy for me to follow. Still, I sank into my practice, spending time trying to generate good energy with the flow of my body.
“No! No! You’a need straight legs!” Olga shouted as I bent over to achieve a flat back with my knees slightly bent, my hamstrings felt like violin strings being tuned too tight. It took me a while to register in the dim light that she was looking at me. “Straight legs! Straight legs!” She yelled. I straightened up abruptly, feeling heat spread over my cheeks. My hamstrings have always been tight and I’ve always felt self-conscious about it. As a young dancer, I could slide into my splits or pull my leg up to my ear as long as my hips were wide and my turn out was heavy but willing my stiff body to fold over itself, reaching my head to my toes, sent stabs of pain and pricks of heat down my spine, hips, and hamstrings.
As the practice moved forward, we found our way into boat pose: balancing on the sit bones with our feet floating in the air and our hands cupping our shins or thighs. Again, my tight hamstrings wouldn’t lengthen out in front of me nor was I effectively activating my muscles from my current posture so I reached for my yoga belt to fasten over my feet and propel me up and forward. Olga cried from across the room “No! No! No belt!” again, heat crept up my neck and I felt incapable to move into the pretzel-like position she was currently in. My perfectionism was going wild: Why are you not more flexible? my inner voice demanded. Not having the strength or perfect anatomy to float seamlessly on one arm while my feet hovered above ground felt like a major character defect as I sat motionless on my mat. I thought the Yummy Mummies were staring at me; the young, un-mummied, not-very-yummy girl who isn’t good enough to be in this class. I thought about walking out but I knew if I made that decision, it would effectively wipe Olga’s classes from the limited yoga schedule that my gym offers. She wasn’t a bad teacher by any means but being the tender-hearted person I am, I didn’t like being reprimanded in front of the class.
I was distracted and a bit emotional but decided to stay after taking a moment to clear my head and take a few long deep breaths on the mat. The class moved into inversions and the instructor taught us how to do shoulder stands correctly against the wall. She made her way over to my mat where she coached me until I was upside down, resting the weight of my body on my shoulders, forearms, and head. Tenderly, she tucked my top into the waistband of my leggings to protect my modesty for which I was grateful. Suddenly, in this new position (which I wouldn’t have tried without being intimidated into it) the previous events from the class disappeared.
As my feet bounced off the wall and the blood rushed back to my toes, I watched around the room as people old and young tried headstands for the first time in their practice. Handstands are not my thing. I just don’t get it but I’ll be honest, it brought new energy into my practice to try headstands.
Looking around the room and witnessing the playful spirit that had entered it as we jumped into our headstands, I realized I would’ve missed out on the best of the class if I had left when I was uncomfortable. I thought about life and the tricky situations we can find ourselves in. I thought about how we can be criticized or feel like failures. We can fall short of our standards or even the standards of those we love. I thought about how easy it is to quit too soon when things become hard and uncomfortable but if we stick with it, breathe through the discomfort, be teachable, and open up to what the other party has to say, we can find ourselves in a position of growth. It was the first time I had a real “on the mat and into life” experience and now that it’s happened, I’m craving more (I’ve even signed up for another of Olga’s classes).
